Diet Advocate

Spring and summer are seasons that elicit thoughts of dieting. This is a stressful challenge that makes it easy for family, friends and acquaintances to comment on food intake by becoming the diet police.

Scrutiny from others can sabotage our efforts, but this can be resolved by taking a stance. We can ignore the comments if we have a plan and we must accept that partaking in the odd craving won't lead directly to Hades.

Dietiquette is the best approach because it deals with your's and others' feelings when making the important decision to go on a diet.

1. Forego the Big Announcement: Once you make it known you're on a diet, others begin scrutinizing everything you eat. Keep it a secret and surprise them when pounds disappear.

2. Set a realistic goal within a realistic timeframe: This way, each lapse won't turn into a crisis. Forty pounds in three months is too much to expect. Keep secret your ultimate goal. Set yourself a realizable number of pounds to lose given your frame, your eating habits and your stress level.

3. Spare the people around you the minute details: The blow-by-blow description of every nano-morsel you eat is a private matter. Forego the descriptions of the after-effects of flax and other solutions. Even people who care for you may find the info unappetizing.

4. Accept or decline dinner invitations graciously: It is unrealistic to expect friends and family to be chefs and to change menus for you.

You do have a few choices - taking into consideration your host's feelings and the invitation's purpose. You might say you're watching your food intake. Or, you could ask if the cook minds if you brought some food to share with others. Gauge the reaction.

You might ask your host if you can arrive in time for coffee or suggest meeting another day. Some friends who are open will accommodate. Others may be disappointed.

If you wish to maintain this relationship, there are choices. With time, you'll be able to work out how to deal with similar quandaries.

5. Be sensitive to others' feelings. Although losing extra poundage may be a milestone for you, others may be losing weight without wanting to - because of illness or stress. Remember, too, that rounded people or people you consider fat may be healthy and content. One size does not fit all.

6. Do not beat yourself up. If every extra bite causes you anguish and makes you choose whether you've been 'good' or 'bad,' look at your face in the mirror. Do loved ones want to stare at a glum face? Is griping what they want to hear?

If a specific diet is sanctioned by your medical professional to alleviate a health condition, do ask the right questions and follow the regimen for however long you need to.

If a TV "guru" recommends a potion or pill that promises to keep you bouncing until you are 100, don't take this at face value. Scams are easy to advertise and many people want to believe in the diet fairy.

7. Remember to have fun and to follow your other goals. Although dieting may prolong your life, there's no guarantee. Even thin people go to the great beyond. Find time to enjoy yourself and to relax. Be physical - whether lifting weights or your nephew. Be in the company of people you like.

Find time to laugh. Work at something that impassions you. Even if your body - male or female - is not as toned as you'd like, you'll be getting too much pleasure out of your days to worry about it. And that's a gift you can give yourself.

Since 1989, Elaine Creighton has offered confidential business coaching and communications training to executives and businesspeople.